Unlean mean creating machine [entries|friends|calendar] Tinne [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[16 Mar 2008|11:23am] ( shameful vanity ) post comment

when i was yonger so much younger than today....i never needed anybodys help in anyway way.... [21 Jan 2008|12:36am] VOTE for my tshirt design PLLLLEASE it would make my dear sweet little day post comment

Visual Diary [09 Jan 2008|12:04pm] ( Now I do a new picture for every day.... ) 2 comments|post comment

Rocking my Threadless shirt and red hair. [20 Nov 2007|02:09pm] bwhahaha I dont normally wear Sunglasses inside. ( bwhahaha I dont normally wear Sunglasses inside. ) 4 comments|post comment

[17 Oct 2007|12:10am] Vote for my design on Threadless...pretty please! post comment

[02 Sep 2007|10:22am] I discontinued my course, I still love fashion but decided that making giant overly-embellished dresses that no one would ever wear is not me at all. I really didn't fit in there and have been unhappy for a long time, so I decided that it was time for a change in direction. Time to stop holding myself back from doing the things I have wanted to do for so long. I need to find a way to get more self confidence. I think ultimatley what I would really love is to work as an illustrator or graphic designer. I have been working on website with my portfolio it, which should be finished pretty soon. I have been drawing, reading, designing non-stop and I havent felt this happy in a long time. I also cut my hair really short. Before After ( More short girl with bob ) 5 comments|post comment

[29 Jul 2007|07:26pm] I am trying to understand why I suffer like this and why its getting worse. Mabye if I start writing in here again it will help. I just have these days where I am so overwhelemed by fear and negative thoughts I am worried about how that will manifest itself...and it does a lot of the time...in ugly ways. I think it all comes back to my lack of confidence in myself. When I am not feeling defective and worthless I am in a mad futile attempt to prove that I am not like that. It's all so illogical, not that realising that really helps in those times but...For the past 4 years of my life I have just been living the same lifestyle. Go to school. feel stressed about the workload and spend the weekend working on assignments. Now put 13 hr days and weekends spent alone into the mix and you get an idea of how I live. Even though I am a studying what I want to now I still feel like no matter what I do it will lead to nothing, because I will always lack the confidence and interpersonal skills to get anywhere. I am ashamed to say I have started to have suicidal thoughts. I know it may come off as really adolecent/emo/immature to write this in here, but I am only doing so in the hopes that it will help me somehow. I thought when I quit my job I would be less stressed about my workload, for a fleeting moment it helped but then afterwards I feel into the same old habits. In my "up" times I can't even understand how I could even get into that mind state but when I am having one of my "down" times its like those thoughts are comforting. Everything I do seems to invite self doubt and personal resentment into my mind. I feel like I really have nowhere to go or no one to talk to. I feel like I am missing something, but then I depress myself even further when I think about how normal that is. Mabye one day I will do something really unpredictable and unexpected. The way I live my life is so superfical. Mabye I should do something less selfish with my life. Ah sweet apathy, now I can go to bed. 4 comments|post comment

[29 Jul 2007|04:08pm] post comment

[10 Jul 2007|06:53pm] I have been very depressed. so.... Things to be grateful for 1. I have a home to live in 2. I have parents that love me very much 3. I have a boyfriend that cares about me 4. I have food in my tummy 5. I have a little money in the bank (over $200) 7. Even though its making everything worse I am having tonight off 8. I have good books to read 9. I rented Pan's Labyrinth on dvd 10. I am alive 11. I don't have to socialise with anyone today Good things that have happened to me 1. I didnt get fired at work even though I made a majour stuff up 2. A passing stanger asked me if I was ok (see there is good in the world) Things I like about myself 1. 2 comments|post comment

i hurt peoples eyes [02 Jul 2007|11:37pm] ( larger ) post comment

[28 Jun 2007|11:29pm] I think I may have manic depression. There are certain symptoms of mania that have in the past convinced me otherwise. 1 comment|post comment

[22 Jun 2007|09:30am] ( Read more... ) 3 comments|post comment

[21 Jun 2007|01:11pm] 2 comments|post comment

[20 Jun 2007|11:23pm] 2 comments|post comment

Starting to paint [20 Jun 2007|12:16pm] 2 comments|post comment

[13 May 2007|10:59pm] ( bla di bla ) 3 comments|post comment

[04 May 2007|07:53pm] I just had my hair cut and coloured. I do feel pretty! If only I actually had someone/somewhere to go. 1 comment|post comment

[03 May 2007|08:50pm] Read my VisualDNA™     Get your own VisualDNA™ post comment

His destiny was to be in my stomach [09 Apr 2007|10:18am] ( Read more... ) post comment

Love holidays with all my heart [08 Apr 2007|10:39am] Best moment of the day: Cosy reading in bed with banana bread. Best moment from yesterday:Mixing and matching my new purchases, pretending I was dressing up to go somewhere. ( changing my spots ) 4 comments|post comment

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